They Walk Among Us: Should Cape Cod Hunt New Yorkers?

New York problems don't often touch Cape Cod. There are very few roving street gangs rioting in Chatham. It's kind of why people come here.

New Yorkers visit in droves. Cape Cod doubles in population in the summer, and much of that bubble consists of vacationing New Yorkers. Even then, their problems stay in Noo Yawk. It's not like they can bring urban decay with them.

That is all well and good, as their presence helps drive the local economy.

When it isn't all well and good is when New York is the new epicenter of this ghastly plague that has befallen us.

Is it possible to close off Cape Cod? If not, what steps can we take to drastically reduce the chances of the virus spreading? Finally, how much is too much when it comes to clamping down on some people?

Imagine for a moment that you are a New Yorker. Let's say your otherwise profitable business is closed. You live among millions of people, teeming masses, many of whom will be coughing Death onto you. Option #1 is Get The Hell Out Of Dodge, and Option #2 really isn't that important.

Another option, a wonderful one to have, is to flee to your Cape Cod summer house. Ride out the storm in splendid isolation within a town where the population is 50% or even 10% of what it is in the summer.

New York is a stockbroker town, and a great part of that game is Demonstrably Lowering Risk. New York City has a population density of 23,000 per square mile. Truro has 99 people per square mile. Someone is sneezing plague around. Where do you go?

Cape Cod could see a spike in Coronavirus cases from infected New York refugees. It would be an odd vector, fueled by a wealthier than usual Patient Zero, a true summer people Swine Flu in an off-season Orwellian sense.

They'll also move in on our suddenly depleted paper towel and hand sanitizer supplies.

We have no means to stop it. If they own the house, they have the right to use it. Our ability to restrict interstate movement is somewhat limited.

Some places are trying. As reports of NY/CT/NJ refugees fleeing to Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket summer homes came in, Chatham ordered any New Yorkers to self quarantine for two weeks.

Rhode Island is going deeper. Police in Are Eye will be stopping cars and going door to door, hunting New Yorkers. They will seek to identify people from the pandemic epicenter. Their focus will be on Newport, where they are already monitoring traffic.

The penalty for failure to self quarantine in the Ocean State is a fine, although it can become some time in the gaol if you keep messing around.

It is tempting to seal off Cape Cod at the bridges. We'd catch New Yorkers at, no, before the bridges. Naturally, we'd use police from the mainland, who will return to their mainland homes after a day of screening for New Yorkers.

We can avoid Gretna comparisons because, instead of storm tossed blacks, we'll be turning away rich whites. Diseased whites. You can do whatever you like to rich white people. I think everyone in Gretna skated, anyhow.

Once we catch them, they go into the database for tracking. Then we go door to door, from Bourne to Provincetown, seeking out those who have fled from the Rotten Apple

Police can use tax records to target certain properties, while the rest of town can be handled by a mob citizen volunteers. Anyone who pronounces Rs or who says "Lon Guy Land" will be viewed as Beplagued.

It won't be pretty and some people may be pulled from their (summer) houses and beaten, but we can still seal off Cape Cod from outsiders before it's too late.