Surf Check, Westport

Checking the surf in Westport

Sunday wasn't that bad, the real fun should be on east facing beaches just after midnight tonight.

Frosty Football, AKA Cold Turkey

Cranberry County Magazine went to not one but two Thanksgiving football games, in Plymouth and Duxbury. We went during record cold, and, as you can see with the young lady here, bundling up was a necessity. It was 17 degrees with a strong wind when I got to Duxbury.

"It's so cold in the D..."

What makes this photo worse is that everyone at the Plymouth game was sitting in the same bleachers.. This was just about everyone.

In case you think I'm lying, this is the other side of the field. Yes, it was windward 

Siberian Selfie by your faithful reporter.

About halfway through the first quarter, I snuck onto the field, pretended to be a coach (I'm a big guy, and have the booming voice of the schoolteacher), shouted encouragement at the kids and stood right in front of the heat cannon. I eventually had to yield to the cheerleaders.

I was hoping for a pic of a shirtless drunk with team color body paint... but like Hall and/or Oates said, "no can do."

Even the ref was cold. You can tell if the ref is cold when A) he's bundled up, and B) he doesn't slow the game down by calling penalties. I mentioned that to him as he walked by, and he said "I call a fast game, Coach." This is when I was still faux-coaching so I could stand near the heater.

North's cheerleaders muscled in on my space heater. I was gonna hang around anyhow, as there is Comic Currency to "Mr. Bowden was arrested as he hung around with 8 cheerleaders who were half one-third his age."

In case you think that only girls and journalists use the heater, here's the Duxbury heat cannon. Duxbury was 12-1 on the year, and beat everyone in SE Massachusetts who stepped up to them. 17 degrees is 17 degrees, though...

Phil Esposito, after a tough Summit Series loss to the USSR, once said, "If you give the Russians a football, they'd win the Super Bowl in a generation." That may or may not be true, but let the record show that Russia has probably seen football, and still chose not to bother with it.

Cranberry Harvest, Plymouth County

Thanksgiving is here, and cranberries are an intgral part of the holiday. With that in mind, we thought that we'd give you all of the cranberry knowledge that you could possibly need... short of if you decided to open a bog for yourself.

Cranberries are an evergreen shrub that grows in some form or another in Europe, Asia and the Americas. They get their name because, at some point in their growth cycle, they look like little cranes. They were also known to the Wamoanoags as sasemineash, and used by them for food (mostly pemmican) and dye. The cranberry alone is very tart, almost too tart to be edible, and needs to be cut with a pile of sugar. Bears don't feel the same way, and fatten on cranberries before they hibernate. No less an authority than Roger Williams called them bearberries, and the name was popular enough to be synonymous for a while.

Cranberries were introduced to colonists by the natives. Virginia explorer/colonial history going back to 1550 speaks of natives meeting Europeans with gifts of cranberries. The Pilgrims were introduced to them by the Narragansetts. By 1633, there are records of a Mary Ring in Plymouth selling cranberry dyed petticoats. In 1663, a Pilgrim cookbook had a recipe for cranberry sauce. A 1683 cookbook had cranberry juice recipes. A 1672 book on New England describes them as being "excellent against the Scurvy." Thomas Jefferson, while in France, accepted cranberries as payment for diplomatic work. By 1816, American Revolution vet Henry Hall had begun to cultivate cranberries commercially on Cape Cod.

Cranberries are grown in wetlands, and work in sand. They are harvested when the berries get red... pretty much what you see in these pictures, depending on the lighting. White berries are less mature than red ones, and go to an altogether different sort of cranberry juice. The bogs are flooded, the berries are loosed with a harvester (watch one in action in this article), pushed into a corner and pumped into a waiting truck.

A bog has a lot of berries. They will fill dozens of these trucks at a good-sized bog. Those berries spill at times, and many roads in cranberry towns like Middleboro and Carver get a cranberry-tinged look. The berries are then taken to receiving stations for cleaning/sorting/storage. 5-10% of US cranberries are dry harvested with scoops, but ol' Steve didn't get to any of those bogs today.

Cranberries presently occupy 40,000 acres in the US. New England alone had 21,000 of those in the old days, while Wisconsin leads the league ATM. Massachusetts produces 23% of the US cranberry crop. Much larger Wisconsin is the US leader, with about 65% of the crop. We mean no disrespect to the good people of Wisconsin, who gave us The Fonz, Brett Favre, Kelso and Joseph Schlitz... but when people think of cranberries, they think of Pilgrims... who lived in Massachusetts. If your berries aren't from Massachusetts, your berries are whick-whick-whack.

If the right people were running Ocean Spray, they would make special cranberry sauce for the holidays made only with berries from Plymouth County. "Just like the factory-processed cranberry sauce that John Alden didn't have!" My apologies to the men in the picture above, but Ocean Spray has already employed spokesmen who are standing hip deep in floating cranberries.

Ocean Spray produces 70% of the US cranberry product. They are an agricultural collective based in Middleboro/Lakeville, Massachusetts. They were founded in 1930, in Hanson, MA. Three growers (including A.D. Makepeace, who are the leading grower of cranberries in the world) merged together. to form a collective. They greatly expanded operations into Wisconsin in the early 2000s. They dominate the world market, and were only exempted from antitrust action by some fine print about agriculture.

The price fluctuates wildly. 5 years passed between cranberries going for $65 a barrel and $18 a barrel. A poorly-timed November government report about possible cancer-causing pesticides used in cranberry cultivation collapsed the industry in 1959. This showed the industry that they couldn't rely on holiday sales alone. 

Thanksgiving and Christmas (cranberries are holiday staples in the US and UK) sales weren't enough. Alternate uses were discovered to get people consuming cranberries all year. Several alcoholic drinks, including the Cosmopolitan, the Sea Breeze and the Cape Codder, feature cranberries. Ocean Spray cranked out Cranapple in the 1960s, with juice boxes and Craisins following shortly after.

The US produced 399,734 tons in 2016, more than half the world's total. Canada is a distant second, and Chile gets the bronze. Between them, they grew 667,000 of the world's 683,000 tons of cranberries. The European Union is the world's leading importer of Amerrican cranberries. By country, Canada is first, just ahead of China. 95% of cranberries are processed for juice and sauce. The remainder are sold loose

Cranberry sauce, which is about half sugar, was first offered to consumers in 1913, in Hanson, MA. Canned cranberry sauce came in 1941, allowing it to be available year round.

Canned cranberry sauce made up a large part of food aid to Europe after WWII. Much like how Spam was introduced into England and became a Monty Python skit, cranberry sauce holds an odd spot in British culture.

John Lennon always thought that "cranberry sauce" sounded funny. He also willingly wrote songs that bordered on gibberish. He said "cranberry sauce" in a strange voice for no reason other than mirth at the end of Strawberry Fields Forever. He did so while the Paul Is Dead conspiracy theory was beginning, and "cranberry sauce" was mistaken for "I buried Paul." People still believe it to this day, and think that an imposter has been portraying the Cute Beatle since 1965 or so.

I'm probably omitting something famous, but the only other cranberry reference in popular music is the Wu Tang Clan singing about Cape Codders via "80 proof Absolut mixed with cranberry fruit juice, with a ginseng boost" in Reunited. I'm thinking that Bing Crosby must have cranberries in some Christmas song somewhere.

I'm told that only the eye-scalding citric acid in cranberries kept the WWE from having the Divas wrestle in Cranberry Sauce as opposed to their formerly traditional Gravy Bowl matches.

We employ a guy named Cranberry Jones, who got his nickname in college by drinking and eating voluminous amounts of cranberry products, in an attempt to tint his skin towards maroon. It didn't work, and he spent an hour a day on the toilet.

Since we're discussing the toilet, I am reading that cranberry juice has some effect on urinary tract infections. WPI did a study on it in 2010. Ocean Spray tried to claim "authorized health benefits," but the FDA only allowed them to claim "qualified health  benefits," which have a lower bar on scientific agreement. Any government entity strongly advises against self-treating UTIs with cranberry juice.

You can get a pretty good argument in New England over the relative superiority of jellied or loose cranberry sauce, with or without the actual berries in it. You can avoid the argument if you are happy with either one.

Asking "what sort of cranberry sauce does President Trump use?" will get you no answer. Food for the White House is sent unmarked, with no one who doesn't need to know knowing where it comes from. If you send Donald some of your own sauce, it will be destroyed upon arrival by the Secret Service.

Cranapple has two parents, Edward Gelsthorpe and Sylvia Schur. Schur also invented whatever the fuhhhh Clamato is. Gelsthorpe went to his grave with the nickname of "Cranapple Ed." He was also responsible for cranberry juice being introduced to the mixed drink field. He is responsible for the Cape Codder (Cranapple Ed finished his life in Dennis, MA) and the modern recipe for the Sea Breeze, and is indirectly responsible for the Cosmopolitan (created in Provincetown, MA) and the Sex on The Beach (invented by a Florida bartender) through his marketing efforts. The original name for the Cape Codder was the "Red Devil."

The red and white berries are sorted apart at the receiving plant. The red ones are better for sauce, while the white ones are a bit less flavorful and are used as a lightweight cranberry juice.

The harvest needs to be done before it gets too cold. The water is left in the bog to freeze, which protects the plants somehow. Sand is dropped on the ice to sink into the bog and revitalize it. Many New England kids learn to skate on frozen cranberry bogs. In the spring, the plants are pollinated by bees.

I followed the cranberries I was shooting pics of all the way to Ocean Spray's gate. 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Massachusetts Thanksgiving Football Schedule, Picks

Last week, 2-2... Season, 215-109

These will be cold games, people. Ice cold. Siberian cold. Colder than the kiss of an ex-wife.

Be sure to double check your plans, as some schools are switching their games to Wednesday night to avoid the below-zero wind chills that we'll get on Thusday morning.

On to the games!

Archbishop Williams @ Cardinal Spellman 6:00 PM (Weds)

Playing the Thanksgiving game on Wednesday is like trick-or-treating on October 30th.

Spellman, 18-15

Tri County at Old Colony 6pm Wednesday

Three counties beat a colony, especially an old one.

TC, 21-7

Bishop Stang at Bishop Feehan 5 pm Wednesday

Pick a bishop, any bishop...

Feehan, 14-10

Blue Hills @ Bristol-Plymouth 10:00 AM

As cold as this game will be, it would be colder atop Blue Hills.

BH, 17-6

Bourne @ Wareham, rescheduled to Wednesday at 6 PM

Bourne won't let the cheerleading career of Molliepop end on an L.

Bourne, 20-17

Bridgewater-Raynham @ Brockton 10:00 AM

Brockton doesn't care how many towns they play at once. "Throw in Halifax,"" says Hagler. "Whitman-Hanson too," adds Marciano.

Brockton, 24-23

Cape Cod Tech at Upper Cape Tech 10:00 AM

I'd hate to get technical...

UCT, 24-16

Case at Somerset Berkley 10:00 AM

Gotta take a home dog now and then...

SB, 12-9

Coyle & Cassidy at Taunton 10:00 AM

This is a fun game to bet, especially if you don't really know the players and want to bet instead on partially irrelevant tangents. Can a school with 500 kids beat one with 3000 (Taunton is the 4th largest high school in Massachusetts, trailing only Brockton, Lowell and New Bedford) kids? How about if they are in the same town, and can maybe bleed some of Taunton's talent away? Can a small school with a 7-3 record beat a huge one who is 5-5? On the road?

C&C, 28-27

Dennis-Yarmouth at Nauset 5 PM Wwdnesday

You generally want to bet on teams with two towns in their name, but Nauset serves Eastham, Brewster, Truro, Orleans and Provincetown. The schools are about the same size, Nauset is hosting, but DY was over .500 while Nauset wasn't.

DY, 13-12

Durfee @ New Bedford 10:15 AM

I'm not digging it out of the laundry pile, but I own a Durfee Hilltoppers t-shirt. I also think that Beige will whip them.

NB, 24-9

East Bridgewater @ Rockland 10:00 AM

Rocky started out rough before ending well. EB should prevail, however.

EB, 15-14

Fairhaven at Dartmouth 10:00 AM

The teams look pretty even, but Fairhaven is 4-6 while the D is 3-7. Keeping with the even theme, both teams end up 4-7 after a nail-biter.

Dartmouth, 21-20

Falmouth at Barnstable 10:00 AM

Falmouth and Barnstable both advanced in the playoffs before running into Canton and Mansfield-sized roadblocks.

Barnstable, 21-18

Foxborough at Mansfield 10:00 AM

Foxy Bro's best chance of winning this game involved a) Mansfield looking ahead to the Super Bowl and b) Mansfield playing their JV. A didn't happen, and B doesn't seem likely either.

Mansfield, 31-14

Greater New Bedford at Diman 10:00 AM

I'm taking Beige in the other Fall River/New Bedford gobbler, so I'll take Fawl Rivuh here.

Diman, 18-9

Hanover at Norwell 10:00 AM

Hanover will be very calm and quiet before Black Friday. "Black Friday" sounds very ominous for something that means "the store opens at a funny time so shopaholics can bargain hunt."

Hanover, 21-10

Holbrook/Avon at West Bridgewater 10:00 AM

Holbrook's last game saw them lose to a winless, 100 kid charter school. Can they beat the Westie JV?

The WB, 7-6

Hull. @ Cohasset 10:00 AM

Hull also looked to be playing against the JV before Cohasset crossed the wrong Catholic school.

Cohasset, 41-7

Marshfield at Duxbury 10:00 AM

Duxbury was also going to be sending out the JV, before getting eliminated by Tewksbury. Marshfield beat the JV by 50 points in 2016, humbled the Green Dragon varsity for a departing Coach Silva in 2017, and looks to keep it going in 2018 against a demoralized Duxbury squad.

Duxbury, 24-21

Middleborough at Carver/Sacred Heart, 10:00 AM

"Carver" is an odd word to put in front of "Sacred Heart."

Carver/Sacred Heart, 14-13

Milton at Braintree 10:00 AM

Much like Fairhaven/Dartmouth, I call a close game where each team finishes the season at 7-4.

Braintree, 17-16

North Attleboro @ Attleboro 10:00 AM

Battle Bro is bigger, but North was a Duxbury away from the EMASS final.

North, 20-14

Old Rochester @ Apponequet 5 pm Wednesday

OR will most likely send out the JV, but that's just me guessing.

Apponequet, 38-7

Pembroke @ Silver Lake 10:00 AM

Pembroke was part of Silver Lake before the divorce, making this game sort of like the War Of The Roses... not the English war, but the divorce movie where Kathleen Turner scissors Michael Douglas.

Silver Lake, 20-10

Plymouth North at Plymouth South 10:00 AM

Prepare yourself now for our "The Plymouth Thanksgiving game should be nationally televised" article.

North, 28-27

Quincy at North Quincy 10:00 AM

I'm not sure if I would have gone to Quincy or North Quincy high school if my parents didn't White Flight out of Quincy during the 1970s busing troubles. I'll bet North, because they haven't lost 10 games this year.

NQ, 14-12

Saint John Paul I at Monomoy

Not sure of the time for this one. An unreliable source tells me 10 AM.

SJPI, 20-14

Sandwich at Mashpee 10:00 am

After winning almost 30 straight games, I don't see the Mash losing two straight.

Mash, 41-14

Scituate at Hingham 10:00 AM

This looks like a JV game for Scituate. The JV playing for Super Bowl teams on Thanksgiving is a downside of the present tournament format.

Hingham, 34-21

Seekonk at Dighton-Rehoboth 10:00 AM

Here's another JV game. I was at the Duxbury JV Thanksgiving game in 2016, and the locals treated it as a chilly class reunion.

Seekonk, 21-6

Sharon at Oliver Ames 10:00 AM

Said it before, saying it again... it must be tough when you root for a school with a male name which loses a power-based game to a school with a female name.

OA, 7-6

Southeastern at South Shore Voc-Tech 10:00 AM

I pasted this list of games from FUN 107's website. Maxpreps has SSVTHS playing Holbrook/Avon. Max is often wrong about these things.

SE, 15-14

Walpole at Weymouth 10:00 AM

Have a great Thanksgiving, everyone!

Walpole, 24-13