A Visit To Mistletoe Acres And Some Christmas Tree Facts

 

We took the crew out to East Bridgewater to visit Mistletoe Acres Christmas Tree Farm.

You could always get a fake tree at the friggin' Wal-Mart, but this journalist doesn't view that as a feasible option when one can instead take the kids to an actual farm and patronize a locally owned business. I am very rarely wrong about such things.

With that in mind, we shall explore Mistletoe Acres and check out some Christmas tree history. You might even learn something before we're through, Hey Hey Hey!

Christmas trees date back to medieval Latvia and Estonia, and non-Christian decorated trees may go back to the caveman days. Evergreen trees were decorated in ancient China and Egypt.

The custom spread through Germanic territories to Western Europe, usually by the upper classes. Trees are referenced in 1400s Portugal and 1500s France.

The Christmas tree came to America with German immigrants. Our founding fathers failed to get in on this trend early, as North America's first Christmas tree was put up by Hessian soldiers stationed in Quebec.

Remember, Massachusetts was founded by people stuffy enough to ban Christmas in the 1600s, and the only things they hung off trees here were Witches.

America has since come correct on conifers.  America produces about 35 million Christmas trees a year, with Europe being good for another 60 million.

Americans spent 2 billion dollars on trees in 2016, making a liar of whoever said "Money doesn't grow on trees." We, sadly, spent 1.8 billion on fake trees.

The average price of a tree in 2017 was $73, and that price is about the same today.

America has 15,000 tree farms, including Mistletoe Acres. They provide at least seasonal employment for 100,000 Americans.

A third of these tree farms are, like Mistletoe Acres, choose and cut. This is good, because axes and chainsaws are always fun. No holiday is lessened by chainsaw use.

(pause)

OK, maybe Arbor Day.

Your typical Christmas tree is some form of evergreen conifer, like pine, fir and spruce. Some folks use juniper or cypress, and wouldn't The Starry Night look cooler if Van Gogh had painted some tinsel onto the cypress?

Mistletoe Acres has 7000 trees (4000 of which are in 10 gallon pots in their nursery). These trees are spread out over 3 acres. Mistletoe Acres has 8 acres, but the other 5 are for I-forgot-to-ask-what Farm Stuff. They move about 300 trees a year from the nursery to the field.

You can cut your own tree down if you want, up until they have played out their mature trees. We arrived after the choose and cut period... which is good, because Stephen is clutzy, and we really didn't want to end this article with self-amputation pics.

But enough of that talk... let's get us a tree!

First, you wander among the thousands of trees.

They have a lot of them.

Find one that the kids like.

Take it to this Santa's workshop place to pay for it.

They keep the stove going for you.

While the tree is being purchased, go to this barn...

...bother the girls as they make ornaments....

...and pick up a wreath cross.

They literally have a wall full of wreaths.

The Gang Of Four

They have all that crafty stuff that I don't know how to make.

Stephen volunteers for a charity, and has a bell that he rings. It makes a pleasant CLANK CLANK sound. Now, he has sleigh bells wrapped around his big stupid fist, and he sounds like a damned herd of reindeer. $12.50 at Mistleoe Acres, and we apologize in advance to the people of Sandwich.

Like I said, they have all sorts of neat stuff.

Wreath Sled, you say? Just happen to have one right here...

The reason that I write the captions instead of Stephen is that if I see the humor in "waist high mistletoe display," so will he. I'll mention it... he'll expound upon it.

Below, the tree shaker video. This removes loose needles, shakes loose bird nests and could properly mix a Paul Bunyan-sized martini. No squirrels have been evicted rapidly into the sky by this, but we can always hope.

They do the tree shaking for you, which is probably for the best.

They also have a machine that ties the tree up for you, which is important if there is a lot of Route 495 between Mistletoe Acres and our Plymouth office.

The tree wrapper looks like it fell off a DC-10.

Once the tree is wrapped, it's Chainsaw Time.

OK, we need a smaller car...

The finished product!

Christmas Tree Knowledge

- The star and the angel that you see on top of Christmas trees are symbolic of Bible stuff. The star represents the Star of Bethlehem, which guided the Magi to the manger where Jesus lay. The angel represents God's messenger, Gabriel. You know him from the Annunciation, which was when God, through Gabriel, told Mary that she would bear Jesus.

- Elaborate snowflakes are the most common non-religious tree topper.

- Christmas trees generally go up, even unintentionally with non religious people, along the lines of the Advent, which is the 4th Sunday before Christmas. This coincides with "after Thanksgiving."

- The tree tends to come down around the Epiphany, aka the Adoration of the Magi, which is when the Three Kings found Jesus.

- Traditionally, the tree went up on Christmas Eve and would come down on January 6th. This time span is what we know as the Twelve Days of Christmas.

- Queen Victoria and her Germanic Albert were sketched with their children by a Christmas tree in 1848, which boosted tree love in the UK and the USA.

- The first White House tree was put up by Benjamin Harrison in 1889.

-Teddy Roosevelt, an ardent conservation guy, refused to put up a tree. He was unaware that a tree farm generally plants more trees than they cut down.

- Thomas Edison's assistants invented electric Christmas tree lights. Candles were used before then, and fires were common.

- The Rockefeller Center tree first went up in the Depression, when construction workers pooled their assets and bought a tree. The tree is presently topped by a 500 pound crystal star. The tree has been up to 100 feet high, and has 30,000 lights.

- Oregon produces the most real Christmas trees. China produces the most (80%) artificial ones.

- Balsam Fir and Scotch Pine are the most popular trees, although it varies by region.

- 35% of trees are sold at garden centers/retail stores. 25% from cut/carry farms, 15% from tree lots and 15% from non-profits.

- Every year, Boston is given a tree from Halifax, Nova Scotia. This is a thank you for Boston sending aid to Halifax after an explosion destroyed half of the city.

- "Christmas tree" came in 8th in a poll of American's favorite smells. They were one spot higher than perfume, and one behind bacon. 

- American songbird Taylor Swift was raised on a Christmas tree farm.

- A freshly cut tree will drink a quart of water a day.

- Christmas trees take 7-10 years to mature. A shortage was feared for this year, as less trees were planted during the Bush Recession.

- Christmas trees are involved in one tenth of one percent of U.S. residential fires.