Saturday, March 28, 2020

They Walk Among Us: Should Cape Cod Hunt New Yorkers?


New York problems don't often touch Cape Cod. There are very few roving street gangs rioting in Chatham. It's kind of why people come here.

New Yorkers visit in droves. Cape Cod doubles in population in the summer, and much of that bubble consists of vacationing New Yorkers. Even then, their problems stay in Noo Yawk. It's not like they can bring urban decay with them.

That is all well and good, as their presence helps drive the local economy.

When it isn't all well and good is when New York is the new epicenter of this ghastly plague that has befallen us.

Is it possible to close off Cape Cod? If not, what steps can we take to drastically reduce the chances of the virus spreading? Finally, how much is too much when it comes to clamping down on some people?

Imagine for a moment that you are a New Yorker. Let's say your otherwise profitable business is closed. You live among millions of people, teeming masses, many of whom will be coughing Death onto you. Option #1 is Get The Hell Out Of Dodge, and Option #2 really isn't that important.

Another option, a wonderful one to have, is to flee to your Cape Cod summer house. Ride out the storm in splendid isolation within a town where the population is 50% or even 10% of what it is in the summer.

New York is a stockbroker town, and a great part of that game is Demonstrably Lowering Risk. New York City has a population density of 23,000 per square mile. Truro has 99 people per square mile. Someone is sneezing plague around. Where do you go?

Cape Cod could see a spike in Coronavirus cases from infected New York refugees. It would be an odd vector, fueled by a wealthier than usual Patient Zero, a true summer people Swine Flu in an off-season Orwellian sense.

They'll also move in on our suddenly depleted paper towel and hand sanitizer supplies.

We have no means to stop it. If they own the house, they have the right to use it. Our ability to restrict interstate movement is somewhat limited.

Some places are trying. As reports of NY/CT/NJ refugees fleeing to Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket summer homes came in, Chatham ordered any New Yorkers to self quarantine for two weeks.


Rhode Island is going deeper. Police in Are Eye will be stopping cars and going door to door, hunting New Yorkers. They will seek to identify people from the pandemic epicenter. Their focus will be on Newport, where they are already monitoring traffic.

The penalty for failure to self quarantine in the Ocean State is a fine, although it can become some time in the gaol if you keep messing around.

It is tempting to seal off Cape Cod at the bridges. We'd catch New Yorkers at, no, before the bridges. Naturally, we'd use police from the mainland, who will return to their mainland homes after a day of screening for New Yorkers.

We can avoid Gretna comparisons because, instead of storm tossed blacks, we'll be turning away rich whites. Diseased whites. You can do whatever you like to rich white people. I think everyone in Gretna skated, anyhow.

Once we catch them, they go into the database for tracking. Then we go door to door, from Bourne to Provincetown, seeking out those who have fled from the Rotten Apple

Police can use tax records to target certain properties, while the rest of town can be handled by a mob citizen volunteers. Anyone who pronounces Rs or who says "Lon Guy Land" will be viewed as Beplagued.

It won't be pretty and some people may be pulled from their (summer) houses and beaten, but we can still seal off Cape Cod from outsiders before it's too late.



Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Surf Check: Upper Cape



Gotta take what you can get in a calm storm season, even a storm offshore.

We started in Plymouth and headed south, then east.

We got a late jump, hitting Sagamore Beach at high tide.

The wind had turned north by high tide.

Town Neck Beach in Sandwich was next.



One generally sees few good blue sky surf days, although they do happen.

The trail I chose was closed, so no close-ups.

Sandy Neck Beach was more hospitable, but I was also outside of the One Hour After High Tide benchmark that surf chasers use.

Small waves are why this column is called Surf Check instead of Guaranteed Huge Waves.

Still, not bad for a sunny day.



We work during the Coronavirus, as we are an essential service.





Sunday, March 15, 2020

Roadside Hand Sanitizer Stand In Wareham


Some men self-isolate when faced with a pandemic. Some men start a side hustle.

Reactive instincts are good in the business world. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you Coronavirus, make a roadside stand selling manufactured-right-there-in-front-of-you ghetto fabulous hand sanitizer.

$5 a bottle, right in front of Cumberland Farms in Wareham. 


Saturday, March 7, 2020

Surf Check: South Shore

A strong offshore gale sent huge waves at the Massachusetts coast. 


We got out early and checked a few beaches for you.

We started off at Rexhame, facing Humarock. We apologize for the blurry shot, but we needed some Scituate in here to spam it into the Scituate Facebook groups. 

We were out early. 9 AM high tide for most spots, we were at Rexhame around 7:30.

We had to cover some ground before high tide, so we were off to Ocean Bluff/ Brant Rock.




My favorite nor'easter vantage point.

Off to Duxbury... 



Going through some flooding to get to some flooding.

Duxbury Beach , by the Public Stairs.

The storm offshore had hurricane force winds. It was too far away to do much more than snow a bit on us. She also generated some tall waves.. My phone isn't so hot at the distance stuff, but you could see 10-15 footers a few hundred yards offshore.





The storm being offshore meant that the sun could try to show herself.

The particular slope of the beach, the sandbars and the North wind took away wave energy and kept these waves off of the houses.

You see the same basic vantage point because I'm on a public way, hiding behind someone's house.




I had to hoof it a few times to stay dry, even jumping up on a fence once.

The astronomical tide was in the high 9s, which is good, because this storm hitting on an 11 would have damaged some houses.

Tomorrow may be better, as the wind will be down and we'll get the slow rollers from way offshore.

Won't that be fun?




Sagamore Beach, facing Plymouth...

...and facing Sandwich.

People debate whether mainland Bourne is part of Cape Cod, but it is the end of the South Shore as far as storm-chasing goes.






Thursday, March 5, 2020

Dangerous Surf Saturday


A rather strong gale will form off of New England on Friday. We could get a bit of snow out if it, but the real story will be Saturday's surf.

A north wind will do little to knock down some big waves generated by the low pressure area.

We watched every local channel this morning, and saw no mention of surf. Some of our other resources felt differently.

We double checked with the National Weather Service. Here's what they told us:

"We expect dangerous surf conditions during Saturday. On the Outer Cape we are forecasting surf height around 17 feet, and for the South Shore a surf height of around 13 feet."

That is significant wave height, meaning the average height of the highest third of the waves. It is what you would observe at sea. Roughly one half of that will be the wave that hits the shore.

High tide Saturday morning should be in the 9s, and the tide should be pushing 10 feet. If this storm were a week from today, tides would be 11.7.

We'll have some of our people out with the camera checking the surf in various spots.

National Weather Service Facebook Page

US Harbors Tide Information

Ventusky Wave Forecast